Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
