I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it's like heaven, but drunker
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
