Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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