of course. lets lasso hookers.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
