please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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