You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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