I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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