I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
