I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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