About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
