just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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