I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
