Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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