It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
