i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
