allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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