Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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