If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
