The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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