the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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