is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
