The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
