Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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