She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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