he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
