hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
