If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
