You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Acid is not a monday night drug
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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