therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
