I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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