I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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