Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
