yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize