I just threw up on my dentist
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And my parents said I crawled through the house
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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