hotel room ftw
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
