Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
