If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
