this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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