THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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