I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize