This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
