well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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