i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
