The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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