I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
