Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
