he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He shit in the fireplace
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