I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
