new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
