I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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