If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
