I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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