WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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