it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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