I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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