upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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