How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
