I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
