Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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